Crinkle cuts

I love the environment. I truly believe we’re not doing enough to stop pollution, wean ourselves off fossil fuels, eat food that is grown organically (and impacts the soil less), use products that don’t release toxic red sludge across Hungary, and generally not throw empty fast food cups of soda on the sidewalk, or your empty pack of cigarettes out of your driver’s side window (I’m talking to you, Mr. Buzzy’s Taxi man).

And I have mixed feelings about the end of the noisily, crinkly, eco-friendly Sun Chips bag. True, as one commenter said, a little noise to help the environment is hardly a bad trade. That said, why couldn’t the Sun Chips Corp., Inc., put more effort into producing a bag that met (many) consumers with the appeal of nails on a chalkboard?

Hypocrite, perhaps? Me? Guilty as charged.

I’m not against eco-friendly packaging. In fact, it drives me nuts when I order something online and it comes inside a box, inside a semi-hard plastic thing that requires a Dremel diamond wheel to open, inside another box, knotted with those plastic twist ties secured against that plastic piece with the holes in it that look like the sticks from those homemade ice pops we had when we were kids. (Digression: I used those plastic molds to make ice pops with pickle juice once, and threw up after trying one.) Why can’t companies use “frustration-free packaging” with its attendant environmental friendly angle, to boot?

But what was it about the Sun Chips bags that made them so damn noisy? I find it hard to believe that a brown paper lunch bag is any less biodegradable — why couldn’t they make the Sun Chips bags out of that shit? Or deli wrap, dammit? Perhaps my knowledge of molecular plastic packaging is limited, so I don’t know if this is the equivalent of Steven Wright asking why can’t they make airplanes out of the same stuff they use to make those black box flight data recorders, but I digress.

Was this an effort that was set up to fail? Or are biodegradable chip bags inherently as noisy as the Nazgûl in flight?


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